Being a grandparent is one of life’s greatest blessings. I have the joy and privilege of watching my grandchildren grow, learn, and navigate the world in their own unique ways. My family includes four grandchildren: three are neurotypical, and my 15-year-old granddaughter is on the autism spectrum. Each of them holds a special place in my heart, and I love them all equally and unconditionally.

My granddaughter on the spectrum, though, requires me in ways that my other grandchildren don’t. Her world is beautifully complex, and her journey often calls for a deeper level of understanding, patience, and advocacy. Supporting her is one of the most meaningful roles I’ve ever had, and it fills me with both pride and humility.

That said, I’ve wrestled with feelings that are hard to admit. Sometimes, I feel a pang of jealousy when I see other grandparents with their neurotypical grandchildren—or even in my relationships with my own neurotypical grandkids. Their paths can seem simpler, filled with milestones that fit neatly into societal norms. Meanwhile, my granddaughter’s journey often feels like forging a trail where none existed before.

This isn’t about loving her—or any of my grandchildren—less. It’s simply an acknowledgment of the unique challenges that come with raising or supporting someone on the spectrum. There are moments of joy and triumph that are incredibly rewarding, but there are also times when the weight of advocacy, uncertainty, or isolation feels heavy.

What I’ve learned is that my granddaughter needs me more, and I am honored to show up for her in every way I can. She has taught me to see the world through a different lens, one that is richer and more nuanced than I ever imagined. Her determination and courage inspire me daily, and I am endlessly proud to walk beside her as she navigates a world that doesn’t always understand her brilliance.

To grandparents who might feel torn or overwhelmed at times, know this: it’s okay to feel everything that comes with this journey. You can carry immense love and still acknowledge the challenges. What matters is how we choose to show up—with love, with pride, and with an open heart.

I cherish each of my grandchildren for who they are. And while my granddaughter on the spectrum may need me more, the love I have for her isn’t about comparisons or conditions—it’s about showing up for her, just as she is, every step of the way.