Autism and the Holidays
The holiday season is in full swing, and while many of us are dashing through the snow (or the crowded malls) with joy, it can be a tricky time for others—especially for those on the autism spectrum. Take my 15-year-old granddaughter, for instance. She wants to join in the festivities, but the whirlwind of holiday activities can quickly become overwhelming. The constant shifts in routine, the noise, the crowds, and even the well-meaning small talk when the family gets together can pile up, leaving her frazzled.
It’s a delicate balance. On one hand, she doesn’t want to miss out. She loves the lights, the music, and the chance to connect with family. On the other hand, the sensory overload can make her feel like she’s on the edge of a cliff. We’ve learned to navigate this by offering her breaks when she needs them, making sure she has a quiet space to retreat to, and giving her the freedom to participate on her terms. We understand, without question, that when we sit down for the holiday meal, she will not be joining us. And that is okay.
Here’s where my mind started wandering—if the holidays are this overwhelming for her as a teen, how much harder must it be for adults on the spectrum who are navigating the workplace during this season? Think about it: office holiday parties, Secret Santa exchanges, potlucks with unfamiliar food, and lots of social pressure. What’s supposed to be “festive fun” can feel like an exhausting marathon.
Just like my granddaughter, many adults on the spectrum want to be included—they don’t want to miss out on bonding with their coworkers. But the unspoken “rules” of these gatherings can be hard to decode. What’s the right level of participation? How do you handle the chaos of a party when your brain is screaming for calm?
This is where workplaces can really step up. Small adjustments can make a big difference. For example:
Offer alternatives: Instead of making events mandatory, create smaller, quieter gatherings for those who prefer them.
Respect sensory needs: If the party’s a loud, high-energy affair, provide a quiet space for people who need a breather.
Be mindful of expectations: Not everyone wants to play Secret Santa or bake cookies for a potluck. And that’s okay.
Inclusion doesn’t mean forcing everyone into the same mold. It’s about recognizing different needs and creating a space where everyone—on the spectrum or not—can feel comfortable joining in.
For my granddaughter, this looks like finding a holiday rhythm that works for her. For adults in the workplace, it’s about understanding that participation doesn’t have to be “all or nothing.” Sometimes, just being invited and knowing your boundaries will be respected is enough to make the season a little brighter.
So, as we deck the halls and jingle all the way, let’s remember to make space for everyone’s version of holiday cheer. Whether you’re a teenager learning to navigate family traditions or an adult figuring out office culture, we all deserve to feel included—on our own terms. Always remember, there is room at the table for everyone.
Happy holidays to you and yours! Let’s make it a season of understanding and connection.