Sorry I Didn’t Text Ya Back!

If you’ve ever felt like you just can’t handle talking on the phone, you’re definitely not alone. Many autistic people share that feeling—phones can be a sensory overload, or maybe it’s just the pressure of having to keep up with an unpredictable conversation. I can absolutely relate. Personally, I’d much rather text than talk on the phone. It’s not that I don’t care or don’t want to connect, it’s just that talking can sometimes be exhausting or overwhelming.

But here’s where things get a little more complicated: even with texting, I sometimes just can’t respond. There are times when I’m so overwhelmed, whether it’s from too many things going on or just a flood of anxiety, that I lose the ability to reach out. I could be sitting there with a dozen texts from family and friends, knowing I should reply, but feeling like I just can’t find the energy or mental space to do it. It’s like the anxiety of communication is so heavy that I physically can’t push myself to respond.

It’s important to understand that this isn’t a reflection of how much someone cares about you or values your relationship. It’s just that sometimes, when we're overwhelmed, our brains can’t process everything at once. Communication, in any form, becomes difficult. That’s why it’s so helpful when people understand our preferences—sometimes texting is just easier, and other times, not responding is a result of being overstimulated.

At Autism Insights Foundation, we support the idea that communication preferences should be respected. Autistic individuals might prefer texting, or email, or even non-verbal communication, and that’s okay. We’re all just navigating a world that often doesn’t take our communication styles into account. Let’s be patient with each other, and remember that it’s not about avoiding connection—it’s about meeting each other where we are.