A Lesson I’m Learning: Stop Judging, Even if I Don’t Understand It

I was at the grocery store yesterday, minding my own business, when something happened that got me thinking. The woman in front of me, who seemed to be about 50 years old, was having a bit of a back-and-forth with the cashier. She kept calling the cashier over to her, and the cashier just continued doing their job, which was totally understandable and normal. From what I could tell, the two had no altercation and no former relationship whatsoever. But then, the woman did something unexpected—she stuck her tongue out at the cashier- and kept it out, making sure she knew that this gesture of irritation was for her. Now, I’m not going to lie, it caught me off guard. It wasn’t the norm, and yeah, it was a little weird.

But here’s the thing: there was no need for me to judge. I didn’t know why she did it. Maybe it was a nervous habit, a sensory thing, or maybe she was feeling frustrated in a way I couldn’t understand. Whatever the reason, it was a reminder that we can’t just go around assuming things about people based on their behavior. In that moment, I realized I was tempted to make a snap judgment, but then I reminded myself—this woman wasn’t hurting anyone. She wasn’t being malicious or causing harm. So, why would I judge?

At Autism Insights Foundation, we support the idea that everyone, regardless of their neurodiversity, deserves understanding and respect. Just because someone’s actions don’t fit within social norms doesn’t mean they deserve to be judged or labeled. It’s easy to make assumptions about others, but it’s a lot healthier for us—and for the other person—to take a step back, be humble, and recognize that we don’t know the full story.

And that was my realization: I don’t have to know the reason behind it, but what’s important is that I don’t judge. After all, we all have our moments, and kindness can go a long way. And by the way, the cashier just ignored the behavior and did her job. The whole scene was over without so much as a hiccup. What could easily have turned into a scene had someone stepped in never even escalated because the people around this woman decided not to judge her.